Wife Jokes

1. Women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT Sardar replied: Women don't have a wife!

2. Wives are magicians.
..... . . . . . . . . . .
They can change anything into an argument

3. God - Beta, mannat maang.
Man - Please mujhe phir se unmarried kara do.
God - Beta 'mannat' maangne ko kaha hai, "Jannat" nahi !

4. Puri LIFE ko Sudhaarne k liye ek WIFE kafi hai,
Par ek WIFE ko sudhaarne k liye puri LIFE bhi kam hai.

5. There are 3 kinds of men in this world.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened !

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For HAPPY MARRIED LIFE,

You need to decode following words coming out of your wife's mouth,

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch cricket before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard  before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying  @#%*$ !

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but  is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!

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Marriage

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