मराठी हास्यजत्रा

नवरा: हिप्नोटाइज करणं म्हणजे काय ?

बायको: म्हणजे एखाद्याला आपल्या कंट्रोल मध्ये ठेवून आपल्याला हवी ती कामं करून घ्यायची.

नवरा: चल खोटारडी..त्याला तर लग्न म्हणतात

 😁🙆‍♂😊

एका भिकारीचे लग्न होते..

भिकारीची बायको उखाणा घेते ...

"चांदीच्या पलंगाला 

सोन्याचे पाय ,

चांदीच्या पलंगाला सोन्याचे पाय ,

गणपत रावांचे नाव घेते 

एक रुपया दे ओ माय.." ??????

 😅😁🙆‍♂🤷‍♂🤦‍♂😊

"तुमचा मुलगा आमच्याकडे आहे, २०,००० घेऊन या.. पोरगं घेऊन जा ! "

थांबा... मी पोलिसांनाच तक्रार करते.. 

"आम्ही पोलीसच आहोत... गाडी चालवताना नियम मोडलेत त्याने.."

Welcome the new traffic rules

😜😜

Funny Bone

 Whatsapp Forwards

Wife Jokes

1. Women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT Sardar replied: Women don't have a wife!

2. Wives are magicians.
..... . . . . . . . . . .
They can change anything into an argument

3. God - Beta, mannat maang.
Man - Please mujhe phir se unmarried kara do.
God - Beta 'mannat' maangne ko kaha hai, "Jannat" nahi !

4. Puri LIFE ko Sudhaarne k liye ek WIFE kafi hai,
Par ek WIFE ko sudhaarne k liye puri LIFE bhi kam hai.

5. There are 3 kinds of men in this world.
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened !

www.switch2life.com

Funny and Clever

www.switch2life.com

Letter to Boss

Hi Boss,


People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes

People who do less work...
make less mistakes

People who do no work...
make no mistakes

People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted

That's why I spend most of my time
sending e-mails & playing games at work

I need a promotion

FUNNY SIDE UP

LAWYER: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
LAWYER: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.


LAWYER: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
LAWYER: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.


Teacher to Mallu: Who is Gandhiji's son?
Mallu: Dineshan!
Teacher: Who told you this rubbish?
Mallu: From kintergarten, I have been taught that Gandhiji is father of "Di Neshan"...


Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Lalu: "The moon".
Teacher: "Why?"
Lalu: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

MARY: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,Peter?
PETER: A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Student: "A teacher".

www.switch2life.com

Office Fun

Funny Shayari

Funny Shayari

www.switch2life.com

For HAPPY MARRIED LIFE,

You need to decode following words coming out of your wife's mouth,

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch cricket before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard  before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying  @#%*$ !

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but  is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.Then you RUN!

www.switch2life.com

Laugh Out Loud

Funny Cartoons

www.switch2life.com

Laugh Out Loud

There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.

The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?'
All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?'
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn't remember..

The women were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective husband: I love you, sweetheart.
Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?

2. What now? Did you crash the car again?

3. I don't understand what you mean?

4. What did you do now? I won't forgive you this time!!!

5. ?!?

6. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?

7. Am I dreaming? ???????

8. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today...!!!

9. I asked you not to drink anymore!!

and the best one

10. Who is this?

www.switch2life.com

Inflation

www.switch2life.com

Funny Definitions...

What is EXPERIENCE? 
The name people give to their Mistakes......


What is COMMITTEE?
Individuals who can do nothing individually, sits together to decide that nothing can be done together....


What is DICTIONARY?
A place where divorce comes before marriage..... 


Define Ph.d? 
PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.


Define a Lecture? 
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Jokes for Today

Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai.... ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan lega.

Who is DOCTOR?
A person who kills
your ills, by pills,
and kills you, by his bills

Lalu: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Lalu: No, The Radio label shows Made in Japan but when I switch it ON radio says This is All India Radio!

  

Teacher: What Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Lalu thinks for a while and says
…………..
…………….
………………………..
Mam, I think They were 4 best friends..!







www.switch2life.com

Santa Laughing ...

Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest to their boss Gabbar.
Now, this Gabbar was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if any one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death.
Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day....." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, Gabbar shot poor Banta.
Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including Gabbar & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So Gabbar shot him.
Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly.

Gabbar asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?"

Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke was!"

www.switch2life.com

Funny One Liners

 Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

 You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee for lifetime.

www.switch2life.com

Can You Belive It?

• Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.
• Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
• It's against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.
• It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a certain church in Omaha, Nebraska.
• Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.

• Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
• Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex.
• Men get hiccups more often than women!

www.switch2life.com

Upgrade needed in Keyboards

I  think all the Keyboards should be upgraded like this... It's mandatory...

www.switch2life.com